Tonight I went to the weekly NICU parents meeting. Sometimes they have educational speakers and such, but tonight was just a time to come and ask former NICU parents questions and to get to know those who are in the same situation as you.
As I sat in my chair in the circle and heard all of the introductions and heard myself say, "Hi, my name is Jenny and I have two babies in the NICU. They were born at 29 weeks and their names are Amelia and Sam," I still couldn't quite believe I was part of this club. It is still sometimes like an out of body experience, and yet I know it is an experience that will mold us and shape us in many ways. I know it will make Joel a more compassionate PA, I know God will use it in the future to bring us in contact with others in the same situation who need encouragement (just as he has done for us), etc. Right now, though, it still feels so surreal.
God is faithful, though, to keep providing those sweet moments that make me feel a little more like a mommy. Tonight when the meeting was over I went back to the NICU to get some more milk storage containers(our freezer is totally overflowing with little, plastic containers of milk! I have a friend coming over tomorrow to pick some up to store in her freezer--what a friend--thanks Liz!:).
Anyway,I walked into the babies' pod and was talking to their nurse and all the sudden we heard Amelia's little cry. Her nurse went over and lifted up the blankets that cover the incubator and looked in to see if anything was wrong. " Nope," she said. "I think she just heard her mommy's voice." Oh, what wonders that did for my soul!
So, hearing the other parents' stories helped and I know that chatting with them in the weeks to come will be a lifesaver...but nothing compares to the thought that my little baby girl may have heard my voice and cried out for me. It broke my heart and made it stronger all at the same time. Jen
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5 comments:
Dear Jenny,
Everytime you or Joel write, my heart just swells with joy for both of you and yet it breaks for you, too. It is a challenge to not have your babies with you at home, but oh, what joy when you will. I am sure that hearing Amelia cry for her "Mommy" was a blessing. I just bet before long, little brother will be doing the same.
Much love to you, Joel, Amelia and Sam.
Sharon
Jenny, I'm so glad that they have the NICU support group. I'm sure it helps to know that you're not alone and that others know exactly what you are going through. Praying for you guys today and hoping for many more "mommy" moments.
Sweet, sweet, sweet!
"But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart." Luke 2:19
hi fam of amelia and sam
this is gigi huebner...
loved the pics of mom and grammy and sam and amelia. the smile on joyce's face looks so perfect as i
looked like that with our little darlings all smiles...jen i loved
the tangible feeling of tender
oneness as i looked at you with your treasures...God is so good to me to let me see you at this most precious time...thanks for all it takes to update all of us in the outersphere beyond the nicu...
we love and love you all
gigi
Jenny, I have always loved you just because you are you. When you married Joel I loved him because you did and all the great stories I heard. Then we got to spend time with you guys and I love you both because of who you are and because of who you are together as well. I have no control over my heart these days about you and Joel, Amelia & Sam and your Mom of course because I can identify with her as well as you having babies in nicu. I am so thankful for the staff there. I have to tell you I still remember Blake's nicu nurse vividly. love you all,b
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