Home Semi-Sweet Home

We're home....at least half of us are. Jenny came home from the people infested hospital. She can now get some much needed rest. She can have a bit of privacy now. She can where she is familiar with her surroundings. She can be home. However,....

She is without her babies. I am without my babies. We are without our very first children. We have to be torn between here and there. We must now try and balance our time with wisdom and also with perseverence. We want and need to spend as much time as we can with our babies, we also need to be rested and try to heal. We have to try be at home in two places, but if it came right down to it our home is in the back row of Pod 1 in two little incubators in the LDS NICU. That's where home is.

So, we hope for the best and already feel like we have been forced to ride every ride at a Six Flags one-hundred-million times over, and knowing we have only barely begun. I don't think I have once been able to go and see my babies without welling up with tears. They're so amazing, those two precious little people. When I am holding their hands or they're holding my finger I have flash-forwards of all the things that they might do or be. I think of the first words and steps, the first day at school, the first cut, the first boy-girl problem, the first play, the first car ride, the time they drive, the day I drop them off at camp, the day I watch them drive away to college, the day they tell me something bad has happened. I think about all the things that might happen to the little body part I happened to be focused on, I think of Amelia in a fancy dress for some event when I look at her arms and little back, I think of the hard work Sam's back will likely see, I wonder whose love will be signified by a ring on their fingers, I wonder what ball their little feet might kick, I wonder what amazing things their eyes are going to see, and I wonder what words their tiny little mouths will utter one day. I think of so, so, so many more things and it happens in an instant. But right now I wonder when we will get to hold them free and clear of tubes and gadgets, when will they come home, and of course, what will or might go wrong between now and then. I wish you all could seem them and have them tug with all their little might at heart strings when they pull your hand close to them. Feeling their tiny limbs curl up in your palm and hear their cries subside will most certainly bring the toughest of warriors to soften. Feeling their nearly microscopic fingernails scrape against your skin will make you feel alive like nothing else on Earth. Watching a yawn has never before looked so beautiful. They are so beautiful.

I guess that was more than I intended to write about Jenny's homecoming, but I have a lot of stuff whirling through my mind and thought I'd put a little fraction of it down on "paper". Pictures should soon follow.