Sammy, he has a sensitive soul.

We often describe Sammy as sensitive. He has been this way from the day he was born. Sensitive to light, sound, textures, chaos, transitions, change, feelings, people. Not in the extreme, but enough to really challenge me and often to bring me to my knees in prayer. Most of all I want to help him funnel those sensitivities into positives. Because, let me tell you, when you are awarded one of his knowing glances or smiles, little "for no reason" kisses, a song in the sweetest voice, a giggle of excitement or a snuggle from his very core, you will feel the depths that is Sammy's heart and it will make you glad.

It is our job after all as mamas and papas to study these little souls, to know them deeply and help them with their challenges, isn't it? I have to remind myself of this often. When all I want is my own comfort or to be seen as the mama who has obedient children or when I am about to throw up the white flag of surrender if I hear one more, "NOOOO!" , fight one more diaper or clothes change, or try to deal with a day of enduring, seemingly constant melt downs. When he is slow to warm up to people, overwhelmed or over stimulated...it is all just what makes up his being. Not that knowing these things means I don't hold him responsible for his reactions, but I hope to be a more compassionate, understanding mama and not push him over his limit if it is within my control.

I guess this is all just raw on my heart as I see the babes, and especially Sam, learning (I mean really learning) what it means to obey. Just lately as he yells out a "No!" it is often followed by a quiet "Bey, bey" (as in obey, obey) and he quiets himself. Not always, but sometimes. And it makes my heart break for him a little, as I think of my own "NOOOO!"s and how painful it is to learn that obedience, in the end, brings joy. It's a life long lesson I guess.

I'm kind of getting off of the subject. I wanted write about how Sammy reacted to seeing Joelie for the first time after being apart for about a week and a half. Joel walked into Shanyn's house and Amelia squealed with delight and they both ran over to him and started peppering him with words, "Truck! Sky! House! " etc. Then after things had calmed down a bit Joel was sitting on the couch and Sam just stood in front of him and then climbed up in his lap and dug his head as deep into Joel's chest as he could. I could see Sammy's face from where I was sitting and saw his little chin start to quiver and then he just silently cried for a few minutes as Joel held him tight. It was like all of his little emotions just came out. A few days later he did that same thing again. Joel was strumming a little tune on a guitar and Sam was watching and all of the sudden his little chin started to quiver and he started crying. Joel said it was like he loved it so much he didn't know what to do and it came out in tears! THEN, yesterday when we went to see Anne and Vera for the first time since our return, Sam leaned deep into Anne and just stayed there for the longest time. I think Anne and I both got teary because it was so precious. All of this to say, that his emotions run deep and wide and in many ways that is a wonderful, beautiful thing and I want to always remember that along the way.

Today Joel leaned down to him and said, "Your a sensitive little guy Sammy. That's a good thing. We need more strong, sensitive men in this world." I agree whole heartedly.

So, here is to our sensitive, spirited children. May God give us the wisdom to love and guide them effectively and intentionally.

All for tonight,
Jen