In the evening time...

Ah, the evenings. When rest comes. This evening, as I finally heard the squeals and bouncing in the nursery subside, I went downstairs to finish my Bible Study for mom's group tomorrow and to put a load of diapers in the wash. I finished and came up to return a phone call. As I was leaving a message I heard Amelia crying and was sure there was poo poo to be found. I went in and as I was changing her diaper I went in to kiss her cheek and it made her giggle and...you got it...Sam sat up in bed and within seconds was wide awake (this is a new phenomenon--where is my super sound sleeper?) I was just pooped and didn't feel like trying to put them down again and knew Joel was due to be home early and so I just let them up for a bit. We came into the living room, where I was intent on finishing a book I was reveling in. I put a honey muffin with butter on their little table, fresh out of the oven. I laid on the couch reading, but distracted by their adorableness. They were feeding each other bites of muffin and giggling. Amelia soon got up and wandered over to me, "Up? Hug?" I pulled her up onto my chest and gave her a squeeze. Then she wiggled down and said, "Sambo? Hug?" Then she started walking over to him and he looked straight ahead, smiling, knowing she was on her way. She headed towards him, arms wide open and gave him a quick hug. They giggled and then she ran back to me. "Back!" She announced. "Sambo, kiss? " Again, he looked straight ahead and smiled as she came up from his side and pecked his cheek. "Back!" She yelled as she was again at my side. Sam got up from the table and brought me some muffin, thinking it was hilarious to give me bites as if I was the babe. He then started slowly bringing me all of the play things he could find. At last count on my outstretched body lay 2 trucks, a bunny, a bear, a harmonica, and a yellow play scarf. I was determinedly still looking at the pages of by book, but I'm not sure why. My mind was on the two little ones whirling around in the late evening light, pushing their wooden choo choo train across the floor, laughing, talking, fussing. Sam was trying to ride Amelia like a horse and she didn't think it was funny. He started coughing and I was like "noooooooo" as I knew what was coming. BLLLLLAAAAH. All over the floor. Then he came to me. He always gets as close to me as he can when he throws up. And dare I confess that I just hold him to me and let the throw up go where it may? It's that mama love, you know? How can you push away a scared little throwing up boy? You just can't.

Anyway, the point is that after this I just start laughing. A little manically. I mean, this is the evening. The evening resting time. And here I am wiping mounds and mounds of throw up off the floor. Again. (Yes, we have seen our pediatrician and Sam is on a five day round of oral steroids that we hope will do the trick). So, I just laughed. And they laughed. And then looked at me a little bit concerned. And then laughed some more. Oh these little ones. These most precious, most challenging, most endearing little companions of mine. How I love you. How I thank the Lord for you. Because I know, and all the mamas in the world will tell you, that these years will fly by. Yes, days are long and all too often our evenings are not full of rest. But to see you love each other, to see you become more independent, to watch you awaken to this world like little blossoming flowers, to sing with you and paint with you and read with you and take walks with you, to hopefully guide your hearts towards a God that loves you totally and without abandon, it is my privilege. My spirit doesn't always show that to you, especially towards the end of the week, but I hope you know it to the depths of who you are as you grow. It is my privilege to be your mama, to partner in raising you with your sweet daddy and with our God, even when that means I am kneeling over the floor wiping up mounds and mounds of "Mess!"

So, that is what I wanted to say this evening as I go off to bed to finish the book that I set out to finish hours ago. I will probably close my eyes as soon as I hit the pillow, and really, the book will always be there tomorrow.
Jen

Easter Sunday...