Ever on my mind....

Dear Amelia and Sam,

Tonight as I fed you two I thought of how present you are in my day, even as we are apart.

I saw you today Amelia as I watched a little girl in line with her dad at Barbacoa. She was about 5 and had two headbands and goggles holding her hair back.I could tell she thought those goggles looked oh so cool. She had bracelets galore and was doing ballet moves to the music as they worked their way through the line. She made me excited for you to get to be a little girl.

Sammy I thought of you when I was at Target. There was a little boy who was also about 5 and there he was laying in the middle of the floor by the checkout lines dressed in full fireman regalia. I don't know what he was doing but I got tears in my eyes thinking of you bud. Thinking of you getting to dress up like your heroes and lay down on the floor in Target for no apparent reason.

As I was driving to the hospital tonight I saw a home lit up and a group of folks sitting around the living room, with one girl standing up facing them. I wondered, baby girl, if that was you standing up front what kind of group it would be. A Bible study, a book club, a group of friends playing charades? Or maybe you aren't up front at all...maybe you are sitting quietly soaking it all in. Maybe Sam is there with you and you two glance knowingly across the room at each other with some inside knowledge that no one else in the room understands.

Oh sweet babies, despite all the pain in this world...there is so much life. There is so much joy. You have had a rough start, and there will be many rough days in the future. Oh, but how I hope God allows you to feel the freedom of being 5 and the comfort that comes from having a sibling that knows and loves you.

On the way home from seeing you, feeling much better after our visit, I heard a song that made me think of you too. The chorus says,

"There is hope for the hopeless, rest for the weary, love for the broken hearts.
There is mercy and healing, grace and forgiveness, He'll meet you wherever you are..
Cry out to Jesus, cry out to Jesus."

I thought of you two one more time. I thought that above all, I hope you you will cry out to Jesus when things get hard. I thought that I hope you see your momma and papa model that for you. And so as I drove into the driveway I cried out to him on your behalf. It brought relief to my weary soul.

You have begun life surrounded by the prayers of many Amelia and Sam....and though there have been some bumps in the road, in many ways there is no better way to start the journey.

I'll see you tomorrow babes,

Momma

Set Backs

So I left the last post with the anticipation of going home very soon. Things are turning out differently. We were pretty sure that they were both going to be home either this weekend or by the middle of next week because they were both eating well, had gone a couple days taking everything by mouth, gaining weight, and doing wonderful. Then the NICU set us up with a Hotel Stay where the parents stay the night in the hospital with their baby(ies) in a post-partum room right around the corner from the NICU. The purpose is to give the parents a test run at being with their baby(ies) all by themselves but with nursing help just a few feet away if is needed. When parents have a Hospital Stay it means their baby(ies) are just a couple days away from going home. It's sort of like the rehearsal dinner before the wedding, everything is set it's just a formality and another reason to celebrate a union. It's what parents look forward to, it's the hope of being able to go home with your baby(ies). Tuesday night we were alerted to the fact that we might have a Hotel Stay on Wednesday. Then Wednesday came and we were told that we would in fact be scheduled for a Hotel Stay. Unbelievable. Visions of being alone with our babies in a room without beeping and we could do as we pleased. It was a relief, a sense of arrival at the end of a long race.

As Wednesday unfolded we learned that the twins were going to have an eye exam, no big deal, they've had them in past and passed just fine. Not this time. Sam passed but Amelia did, she has Stage I ROP (retinopathy of prematurity), a very common and usually benign and self-resolving complication of being born early. It's really not that big of a deal. There are 4 stages, she has the first, and if it did progress it can be treated surgically and the outcome is usually good from those procedures. The ROP is just an irregular growth of blood vessels in the back of the eye which causes problems. The bad outcome of ROP is vision impairment or blindness, that's the truth, but also most babies who get it get the mild form like Amelia and they get better without any lasting effect. So it's sort of like the hole near the heart (PDA) scenario all over again. The treatment at this stage is waiting and watching. However, because Amelia went back on oxygen she will be staying in the NICU for at least 2 more weeks until her next eye exam. The reason she has to stay is because she is getting oxygen through a mixer that mixes 100% oxygen with room air and it is able to deliver a pretty fine percentage of oxygen as opposed to what we could take her home on which can only give about 100% oxygen. With 100% oxygen it can exacerbate the ROP and cause it to get worse, therefore keeping her in the NICU. Now, I am not sure if she at some point within that 2 week period no longer requires oxygen if we can bring her home, that is something we will have to explore. So, we were pretty upset about that, needless to say.

Then, we had a very hard time getting Sam to take his bottle and drink the required amount of milk for his daily needs, which would preclude him from his trip home but he fortunately ate just enough to meet the quota so he was saved from the grips of the NICU. Until today, he has been off caffeine now for about a week and the old discharge criteria said that the baby had to be off caffeine for 2 weeks before they could be discharged so the neonatologist, the doctor, won't sign any discharge orders for Sam. He was scheduled to come home Saturday. The new criteria, which this doctor does not follow, says it is okay to discharge them if they have been off caffeine for 1 week. She said she won't sign it but maybe the doctor who is taking over for her will sign, we'll see how that goes. It's not terribly bad if he has to stay because then they'll be together longer and we won't have 1 baby home and 1 baby in the NICU for as long, but it would still be best to have him home.

So, there's been a lot of anticipation and a lot of excitement and a lot of let down these past couple days. There has not been much sleep. There has been confusion, uncertainty, and anxiety. There have also been prayers, many prayers. We want what is best for the twins, but we also want out of the NICU and to have a whole family finally. In God's timing it will be perfect, we just have to internalize and believe that.

Firsts, firsts, and more firsts

There are yet more firsts....I am sure there will be firsts nearly everyday from now on for a long time, but these just seem to be such perfect firsts.

Yesterday I bottle fed both babies for the first time. I am sure that someone somewhere has put into written word a description that at least comes close to describing how it feels to feed a baby (from a bottle since I am without the necessary equipment to do otherwise) for the first time. I have bottle fed babies before, a number of times, but feeding my own was like none other. The anticipation of hoping to see that day come when I could do such a thing made it even sweeter. They both drank all their bottle, or enough to be close to the whole bottle, and did great. It was like it was supposed to be, Sam was a little cranky and fussy until I put the bottle in his mouth and then he was in milk heaven, just laid there and drank away. Amelia rarely gets cranky, just lays there and looks around and moves her mouth around letting you know she's hungry, which is what she did and she too was very happy to drink in her attack-mode fashion. It was fun. They just lay there and drink, forget to breath, have to be reminded to breath, breath, and then get back to drinking. Pretty simple, yet has to be the most wonderful simple thing ever. They're getting to be real babies now, in size as well as developmentally. You can pick them right up out of their little crib and hold them and not feel like they're going to break. (Oh, Sammy ended his burping time with me by pooping on my leg, fortunately it all stayed inside his diaper. Guess he thought he'd break me in proper.)

We gave Same his first bath last night as well. He did great, just laid there and and enjoyed the warm bath. It's pretty fun too. My favorite part is right after the bath and picking their tiny little naked bodies up and wrapping them in a warm towel. They like it too I think. We got both the first baths on video to torment them when their friends and boy-/girlfriends come over. Can't wait.

I guess this technically classifies as a first but it's not something that they did per se. They are set for discharge probably sometime within the next 7-10 days, even as soon as this weekend. All we're waiting on is for them to take all their feeds by mouth for 2 days and still gain weight and then we're outta there!!! We still haven't moved yet so it will be cramped living for a couple weeks, but I'll gladly sleep outside with the alley cats if it means they get to come home. So, it won't be long and we'll be a real family! I can hardly believe it. There is a bit of apprehension because we won't have monitors telling us they need to be repositioned to help them breath better or nurses showing us how to do certain things, but somehow people have managed to figure it out for centuries now so my guess is that we'll do just fine. Plus, we just happen to have a very seasoned and excellent 3 time mom staying with us who is more than happy to show us the way.

Triple Good News

Last night was another wonderful night of firsts for me. There were some other firsts as well yesterday, and today brings forth yet some more. Let me tell about them; the bottle, the feedings, and the hold.

Well, I'll begin with yesterday afternoon first. Sam & Amelia were bottle fed for the first time yesterday and did amazing. Amelia took her entire bottle and Sam took some of his, not all probably because he was still full from breastfeeding where he was thought to have drank more than his sister. Now, you might be wondering why this is a good thing if they're already breastfeeding. The reason it's a good thing is because it allows them to be able to take more food by mouth instead of through their tubes, which means they're that much closer to coming home. It also means that now they will be getting fed 4 times a day by mouth, we're shooting for breastfeeding 3 times and bottle feeding once. So that means even more time up at the hospital for Jenny, probably 11am, 5pm, and 11pm will be the breastfeeding schedule. Crazy. However, all this is really good news because, again, it means they are quite rapidly approaching discharge. That will be so amazing. Oh, so the first for today is that Jenny started the 3 feedings this morning.

My first was that I held them both together for the first time last night. They were wearing their little clothes and looked like real babies. I held them each like a football, Amelia in my right arm and Sam in my left. I held them out in front of me and just stared and smiled and laughed and was a completely silly goofy dad loving every moment of looking at his kids. They were pretty much oblivious to the nostalgic moment that was happening, Sam had his eyes closed and was hitting his sister in the face and Amelia was just laying there like nothing new was happening, she would occasionally take a little peek with one eye as if to say, "What is all this fussing about?" I don't think I really fully had gasped that I have TWO babies until that moment. TWO! What a blessing they are, so different and unique and funny and cute and squeezable (we can actually squeeze them a little bit now). Oh that was so much fun. I have visions of me pedaling home from school and laying down on the floor and having them crawl all over me. I can't wait. I know a lot of hard work awaits, along with sleepless nights and horrifically stinky diapers, but trust me, all that is better than being in the NICU. Lots of people tell us, "Just wait 'til they come home, you won't sleep again", etc., as if we would rather them be hooked up to tubes and wires in the hospital and that we'll regret they they were born or something. Give me a sleepless night and stinky diapers, bring it on, just get us out of the NICU! I must say again that the NICU experience has been, overall, an experience that will not sour in our memories because we or the babies were treated poorly, not at all, just that your babies are not supposed to spend their first two months in the hospital.

So, we look forward to their homecoming, which is fast approaching, and can hardly wait. To actually think that we will be able to wake up with our babies under the same roof, feel the summer warmth together, and just be with them always seems like a dream, a wonderful, wishful dream. If ever I get to a point where I start to think about them getting in the way or stifling some plans, I will only have to revisit this time when our babies weren't with us and I can be instantly reminded how great it is that they are able to get in the way and stifle plans, because they'll be home where they belong.

I'm Back

I'm back from the Land of the One Handed. Well, kind of. I still do not have full function of my hand yet, it's very stiff and kind of painful to try and do much with it, although I did manage to get in a couple of rectal exams today at the prison, so I'm not too bad off. Way better than that though, I got to hold Sam & Amelia today for the first time with a more normal functioning hand. It's wonderful. They're wonderful! I did their cares tonight (checked temps and changed diapers, which Sam almost made me throw up it was so bad, I had to find a trash can because I thought I was seriously going to loose my dinner) and picked out and dressed Amelia for my first time ever. I chose a little pink outfit (it has some special name that only girls know) with a white, Victorian-era style, frilly collar, I must say it looked very cute. It's great when they wear those one piece outfits because then that way I can't mess up the color coordinating thing; perfect! I put an over sized pink beenie on her and wrapped her as snug as a bug in rug and she looked absolutely beautiful. Seriously, she is actually a very pretty baby. This may sound like I am bragging, and I may be, but I didn't even know babies could actually be truly pretty. Amelia is. Can't wait for you to see with your own eyes and see what you think.

I hung out with Sam quite a bit and dressed him, back into what he was wearing when I got there. Boys don't mind wearing the same thing twice, at least that's what they tell me. He's so funny, such a little dude. He squirms and makes funny faces and is always concerned about something. He's building a larger repertoire of faces these days, they range from a look of abject horror to somebody told a funny joke to being a cute little guy snuggled up in his blankie. When they're wrapped up they look just like Glow Worms, those toys in the 80's that were little worms wrapped in a blanket and their heads glowed when you pressed on them. Well, Sam and Amelia's heads glow too, but you don't have to push on them. Anyway, he looked exactly like one tonight because he was wearing a bright yellow beenie that made him glow even more.

They are both doing very well; very, very well. They're on their way to getting out of there and being set free of monitors and wires and beeps. They just need to get their eating down and then that should about do it. Sam is still having a little bit of a hard time breathing, matter of fact when Jenny was feeding them this afternoon they both went blue on her, they kind of stopped breathing. Not a terrible thing but certainly scary for a momma. So she took the night off to recuperate from the afternoons' events, which is totally understandable. When I was holding Sammy while he was getting fed tonight through his tube he turned blue too, but we got him pink again pretty quick. It's those little things that are still out there that need to go away before they can come home, but I don't think it will be very long. Tonight Sam weighed 4lbs. 7ozs. and Amelia weighed 4lbs. 10ozs. So they are not having trouble gaining weight at all, that's really good news. Oh yeah, and Amelia has her nasal cannula out breathing straight, regular, good ol' fashioned room air, just like the rest of us, and she's doing great! Like I've been saying, they're doing wonderfully, they just need to mature a little more and then they'll be ready to come live at home where they belong. I simply cannot wait.

Time out....

...outdoors that is. Joel has really been missing his bike rides. They give him his outdoor fix each day, give him energy, etc. and he craves that. So this weekend he went for a hike and then took me on a little walk to a beautiful waterfall. It's amazing how quickly you can be out of the city and into the canyons and trails...we love that. It was so much fun being together in nature,it's food for my soul really.

Of course these little ones can make my heart glad pretty quickly as well:)

Tonight we went up to see the babes and found Sam in a "big boy bed" ! So now they are both out of the incubators and in open cribs. I feel like it may be a little early for him, but hopefully he can stay warm and prove his mama wrong! They are also both able to breastfeed twice a day now which is great. It is a long road until they are ready to get all of their milk through their mouth...they still forget to breath quite often while they are feeding and that is nooooo fun for anybody involved. The nurses assure me that it is all part of the process in preemies learning to suck/swallow/breath, but boy is it scary.

Overall, though, the NICU is a much less daunting place to be than it once was. When I walk around now I see faces of other mommas that I have gotten to know and feel such a connection with. We visit each others pods, we rejoice with each other over each small victory and our eyes well with tears for each other on the hard days. It is a blessing without measure.

Guess that's all for now. Thanks for checking in and I hope all is well with you, Jen

A note from Joyce...the sights I see.

I've been telling family and friends about my incredible walks through the streets of Salt Lake City so I took my camera and caught some shots of the walk. For those of you, and I know there are many, that love old homes and beautiful plants this is the walk for you. There is street after street of these dream homes and every other yard or so is absolutely full of amazing plants. Many of the plants I have only seen in magazines or at Arbor Gate, the most wonderful of nurseries in Tomball, Texas. If you haven't been it is worth the trip. The weather has been ideal for long walks so some have lasted a good long time and some are taken twice a day depending on our schedule. These walks have been the best medicine for stress and I highly recommend that you come on up and take a walk with me!!!!

 

 

Itty Bitty Update...

Amelia had her first "full feed" tonight-- she nursed for 10 minutes and so they didn't need to feed her through her tube at all!! She will now start nutritive breastfeeding twice a day.She is in her "big girl bed" (AKA an open crib)and doing great with keeping her temp. up. She now weighs 4 lbs 3 oz.

Sam is still working in breastfeeding and I know he'll catch up in no time. I held him skin to skin for a long time tonight and just loved feeling his little body resting beneath my chin. He weighs 3 lbs 15 oz.

Sweet babies, we are so in love with them. Thanks for loving them with us. Jen

A few pictures to tide you over....

Update coming soon....

Oh my...

I couldn't have imagined a better first Mother's day. I was with my babies, with my mama, with my sweet husband who made the day so,so,so special. Here are some pictures of the day....they had their nasal cannulas back in but Amelia was doing great with no oxygen flow and Sam's is much lighter. Amelia got to wear her first outfit today and so the following pictures are mostly a little photo shoot of her:) Can you believe the chub on those cheeks? Sammy has a little boo boo on his forehead...nobody seems to know how it got there, poor bud.We are bringing his first outfit up tomorrow...can't wait!
A day full of worship, family, flowers(thanks Dad!), the most thoughtful gifts ever from my love,a perfectly shabby chic highchair from my mom, cards and emails with the sweetest of words(thanks friends and family!). I thought this Mothers day might be a bit hard, but instead ...my heart is full indeed...

Happy day...(Updated)

Amelia is totally off of oxygen! No tape on her sweet face, no little nasal cannula blowing air in her...she is breathing on her own now. That was my big surprise when mom and I went to visit today! Can't wait for you to see her little face.

They are both doing much better after completing the medication for their PDA's. Last we heard the PDA's had gone from moderate to very small and we are hoping that they are closed now. Sam is also breathing much better and their nurse thinks he will catch up to Amelia in a few days if things keep going well.

They are starting them back up on their feedings and I'll be doing non nutritive breastfeeding with them both starting tomorrow.

Will have some pics for you soon (hopefully by tomorrow evening), but wanted to give you a quick update. I know things can always change, but for now we are so excited for our baby girl...she is growing up:) Jen

(Update!)I forgot to mention that their vision and brain scans both came back normal--praise the Lord!!

Medical update from Dad...

I couldn’t have asked for a better pre-operative present than to physically be with my brand new family as a real, whole little unit, even it was for just a little bit. It was so amazing, as many of you have already mentioned, to see them next to each other. To see them as two little independent people wiggling together was more than I was able to describe. I loved it.

You know, when I at look at new things it’s nice. They’re untarnished and right, they’re new. This can be anything, from a new car to a new pair of shoes to a newborn puppy to a new house. I know they will age and can project that onto them and see it in my minds’ eye. However, with new people, new babies, all that is impossible it seems. There is only the now. There is only peace and perfect beauty and wonderful pureness. There are no bad people or frauds when you look at a baby. There is just no sadness when looking at a baby; they can be doing anything. There is only joy, a joy I had not experienced until April 11, 2007 and experience every time I go see my babies. Life has been rough lately, with school and finals and sleepless nights and broken bones and emotions going to and fro and about the only thing certain is uncertainty until the instant I see my babies’ isolettes, then all that goes away. When I peak in and see their little faces, joy floods in and the worries take a back seat. I was particularly looking at Amelia being held by Jenny, skin-to-skin, and these thoughts came to me. It was angelic really. I couldn’t think of one thing wrong, just everything right. A baby safely cuddled in her moms’ arms, the world, at that moment, was perfect and all badness stopped and disappeared.

The surgery went well. It was kind of like being at the dentists. I was numb, almost, and could feel the bones grinding when they drilled and could feel them pulling and tugging to set my bones straight, but there was no pain. I had two screws put in and that was that. Not bad really. Pain comes in only the smallest of doses and am able to stave it off with a maintenance dose of ibuprofen, so no narcotics. (In case your interested, narcs can severely constipate you, so try and avoid if possible, if not, take a lot of fiber.) Should be up and running smoothly by the time the babies come home, which is a huge relief. Should be out of this splint in 2 weeks; can’t wait.

The babies. Well,like Jenny said in the last post, we’ve hit a rough spot again. Sam & Amelia’s PDA’s (the heart problem) got bigger so they started their treatment yesterday, as we were walking out the door to go to my surgery they called and told us. So that means that they stopped getting fed breastmilk and get fed through an IV, but should still be able to gain weight. They get 3 doses of a drug called indomethacin, which is very similar to ibuprofen, and then get checked to see if the PDA’s are closed. They will get their last dose tonight and get checked in the morning. They can have 3 more doses of indomethacin if the PDA’s aren’t closed, and then if that still doesn’t close them they will have to have surgery. We’re praying for a first time closure.

They get their brain ultrasound tomorrow as well and should also get their eyes checked tomorrow, possibly Friday. Those are big things too, big things that will hopefully come back with negative results. Will keep you posted, of course.

Together at last....

Last night the babies were together for the first time since birth. Our first time together as a family. What joy,what undescribable joy! To have prayed for so long for a baby and then to be holding TWO--two little souls that God has placed in our care-- two little bodies squirming in my arms...my heart was thankful to say the least.Can you guess which baby is which? Amelia is our "tan" baby on the right and Sam is our "pink" baby on the left:)

Let's see, an update. Amelia is out from under the jaundice lights for now--hopefully for good. Unfortunatly their follow up ECHOS showed that both of their PDA's have grown from small to moderate so they will start medication today. They only take 3 doses of the medication...one dose every 12 hours. They hope that this will effectively close the PDAs. We should know by the end of the week I think. We'll keep you posted.

For those of you keeping up with a praying for baby Gavin, his parents finally got to hold him! They held him for a full 1 1/2 hours and he did great--praise the LORD!! I don't know much other than that but I'll let you know when I find out.

Joel's surgery went great today. They inserted two screws into his hand and put the splint back on. He keeps the splint on for two weeks and then he should be able to start using his hand again!! He is medicated and asleep right now:) Thanks for all of your prayers.

We were happy to share my mom for a few days with those of you in TX, but are so happy to have her back with us! The wedding sounds like it went fabulously and the happy couple sound very happy indeed.

Guess that's all for now. Hope all is well with you and your lives...we love hearing from you and hearing about what is happening in your journey..write anytime! Jen

Broken...

Well the hits just keep on coming, don’t they? All in all it’s pretty funny really, pretty funny and pretty sad too. I think the two things that bother me most by this setback is that I cannot hold my two Little Guys with both hands and do their cares and feel them as they grow, with both of my palms and all 10 fingers wrapped and cupped around them. That is really hard. The other thing, oddly enough, is that I am now even slower at typing than I was before, if that’s possible. So, those aside, it’s not THAT bad I guess. I keep replaying the crash in my mind and each time am so thankful that all I got was one little broken bone. It could have been SOOOOOOOOOOO much worse, and I’m not trying to state the obvious, things can always be worse. I think what I’m getting at is that I was spared; I can’t believe it was not worse. I remember flying through the air thinking, “Oh man, this is going to earn me an ambulance ride to the ER.” I did go to the ER, but fortunately it wasn’t bad enough to need an ambulance. I got to see the new house before I went to the ER, which was really nice. I am going to have surgery on Tuesday and they’ll decide then if they’re going to just put a pin or two in or if they need to put a plate and screws in. The good news about that is, barring an infection, I should heal quicker than if I was just going to be in a cast, so that’s good.

Sam & Amelia are wonderful. They are the heart and soul of our operation up here in SLC. They are growing and opening their eyes big and each day brings a new change. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to be in this club of people. Yesterday we saw our first NICU baby go home…after about 5 months!!! Our story of struggle in the NICU is barely even worthy of being mentioned amidst the number of those who have a much larger and heavier worrisome burden they bear. I certainly do not recommend running out and trying to get a membership in this club, for Heaven’s sake don’t do it, but since we are card carrying members I have to say it is awe inspiring. Not awesome like a really good purchase is awesome or a new pair of shoes, but like walking down a cancer ward and hearing the trials, travails, and victories of the patients held there. Not something to envy, yet something that strikes a chord in your soul that moves you. I mean truly awesome. I don’t know how many of these parents do it, how they hang in there. They are a source of encouragement.

I got see Sammy sans tubes all over his head. Talk about amazing and tearful. When Sam was not doing so well earlier on and I was there with him and looking at him through the Plexiglas, still raw and emotional from the whole ordeal, I thought about him dying. Trust me, that was not the only time I thought about either one of them not making it. A terrible vision ran through my mind where I was again looking down at Sam, more raw and emotional, in his tiny casket the size of a child’s shoe box and for the first time I saw him without tubes and wires, finally seeing my son the way he was intended to be. I cannot tell you how that tugged at me; how horrible that felt. I’m not sure why I wrote that here, other than to say that I got to see my son yesterday, for a brief moment, without tubes and he was very much alive and happy and just sort of hanging out looking at his dad. That too tugged at me in a very real and wonderful way. It is the small victories that we look for, and usually come unexpected, that we cherish and relish. I am glad I get to share it with you.

All is well....

A little update for you between dinner and hospital:)

Things have started getting busier as Amelia has started non-nutritive breastfeeding!! What a joy that has been. The first night as I headed home from "feeding" her I just cried tears of thankfulness for this little step forward. She has latched on great each time and is sucking like a champ between her little naps. It seems like a long road ahead as she has gotten a little milk each time and when she does she chokes a bit and her stats go down, etc. That isn't fun and I know it'll happen a lot more once we start the real deal (which could be a in a few days). Please pray for both of their breastfeeding journeys. I definitely have the milk to give them whenever they are ready! One of the nurses deemed me the "Dairy Queen", which I have to say is a bit nicer than "Jersey Cow" which I have heard quite often from a certain someone (ahem, Joel). Really, though, I am just so thankful for this chance to feed my babies and I am realizing what a gift it is as soooo many of the mommas in the NICU have problems with milk supply, etc. Oh, Amelia now weighs 3 lbs 8 oz. and Sam is 3 lbs 4 oz !!!

Joel is doing okay with his hand. He still isn't in a lot of pain and is being a trooper about everything.He is amazing really. Things might get a little harder after his surgery on Tuesday as far as more pain, etc. My poor Joelie.....

Last, but sooo not least, my big brother is getting married today!! My sweet bub. I can't tell you what joy I feel to know that he is so loved by his bride. I love you guys and can't wait to see pictures and video and hear about your wonderful day!!! We told the babies all about their "Uncle Bub" getting married:)

Guess that's all for now. Hope to get some new pictures soon...Jen

When it rains....

So, Joel broke his hand yesterday. He was peddling his heart out to meet my mom and I at the house we'll probably be moving to in a month or so. He is so excited about the house (as am I) and was so ready to see the inside of it. Anyway, a garbage can got in his way, he tried to dodge it but his handlebar caught the side of it and he isn't sure exactly what happened next. This is what he looked like after a trip to the ER....

This picture looks much better than when we saw him for the first time (Although it kind of makes it look like he had to have a finger amputated. The rain isn't pouring that hard!).He was all dirty and bleeding and I almost cried my head off. Thankfully,I didn't. Anyway, it was a bad break and he has surgery scheduled for Tuesday! I'll let him fill you in on all of the medical details after he is rested. My main concern is for his heart. He is so sad because this means he can't do the babies cares (change their diapers, take temps,listen to heartbeats), take them out of their incubators and hand them to me, etc. It's going to be a hard for such a hands on Papa. He is in pretty good spirits, though, as we both know the accident could have been much worse. He hasn't had much pain yet and we are hoping that with the aid of painkillers that'll continue to be true.

One silver lining in the story is that because neither of us were able to go see the babies yesterday, the nurses bent the rules and let my mom hold Amelia! I was so excited for her. Here is a picture of the happy, happy Grammy holding her granddaughter for the first time...


That's all for now. We'll keep you updated:) Jen