Ever on my mind....

Dear Amelia and Sam,

Tonight as I fed you two I thought of how present you are in my day, even as we are apart.

I saw you today Amelia as I watched a little girl in line with her dad at Barbacoa. She was about 5 and had two headbands and goggles holding her hair back.I could tell she thought those goggles looked oh so cool. She had bracelets galore and was doing ballet moves to the music as they worked their way through the line. She made me excited for you to get to be a little girl.

Sammy I thought of you when I was at Target. There was a little boy who was also about 5 and there he was laying in the middle of the floor by the checkout lines dressed in full fireman regalia. I don't know what he was doing but I got tears in my eyes thinking of you bud. Thinking of you getting to dress up like your heroes and lay down on the floor in Target for no apparent reason.

As I was driving to the hospital tonight I saw a home lit up and a group of folks sitting around the living room, with one girl standing up facing them. I wondered, baby girl, if that was you standing up front what kind of group it would be. A Bible study, a book club, a group of friends playing charades? Or maybe you aren't up front at all...maybe you are sitting quietly soaking it all in. Maybe Sam is there with you and you two glance knowingly across the room at each other with some inside knowledge that no one else in the room understands.

Oh sweet babies, despite all the pain in this world...there is so much life. There is so much joy. You have had a rough start, and there will be many rough days in the future. Oh, but how I hope God allows you to feel the freedom of being 5 and the comfort that comes from having a sibling that knows and loves you.

On the way home from seeing you, feeling much better after our visit, I heard a song that made me think of you too. The chorus says,

"There is hope for the hopeless, rest for the weary, love for the broken hearts.
There is mercy and healing, grace and forgiveness, He'll meet you wherever you are..
Cry out to Jesus, cry out to Jesus."

I thought of you two one more time. I thought that above all, I hope you you will cry out to Jesus when things get hard. I thought that I hope you see your momma and papa model that for you. And so as I drove into the driveway I cried out to him on your behalf. It brought relief to my weary soul.

You have begun life surrounded by the prayers of many Amelia and Sam....and though there have been some bumps in the road, in many ways there is no better way to start the journey.

I'll see you tomorrow babes,

Momma