A day with their papa....

The babes had a great day yesterday catching up on some time with joelie. They woke up late and sat around chatting for quite a while, went for a stroller/sling ride around and around the inside of the house as it was bad weather out, and went for their first car ride in the SNOW! That's right, it snowed yesterday and Joel was beside himself with excitement. Me, not so much.

I did have such a great day though, and feel so replenished. I did some very important errands--Taco Bell (sad), REI, and my favorite baby consignment shop--and then realized I'd rather spend my "vacation day" at home where i could shower the babes, and their handsome papa, with kisses anytime I felt the urge.

So, I went home and flew into the bedroom where those three were lounging and did just that. Then I got some house stuff done that I had been wanting to do...ahhh, that was a relief. Then, I grabbed some pizza that Joel had ordered, grabbed the laptop and settled in under our big duvet where I could watch the rain and snow and some very silly television off of the internet (still no TV for our home or I would be watching silly television much too frequently). It was a fabulous day of reading, watching, listening to Joel with the babies, eating junk food and drinking hot chocolate while the bad weather entertained us from our warm place inside. Yet, at the end of all the entertainment and luxurious alone time , I was so glad to fall into bed with Sammy snuggled up to Joel and Amelia cradled against me--her little hand reaching up and finding a resting spot on my cheek. There is just no place I'd rather be. Unless the bed were in Hawaii, on the beach. :)


Here's a video of joel's feeding technique:)

Joel feeds the babes...

A little list for you...

Of things I am loving today and things that I don't love very much at all...

Loving....
-That both babes are sleeping at the same time at this very moment.
-That Forrest Gump just walked by our house on the sidewalk. Seriously, he was young with long hair and a long beard and a waist pack...definitely on a journey. I wanted to grab the babes and go cheer him on...but i didn't.
-That the wind is blowing and the door is open to let the fresh air in through the screen.
-The sound that the enormous package made when the UPS man dropped it on the porch. I almost ran out and hugged him as I had been waiting for it for days.....but I didn't.
-The anticipation of some promised alone time tomorrow...what will i do, where will i go?
-The lingering thoughts from a good conversation with a friend yesterday...one that uplifted and encouraged.
-How the sun worked its magic again getting the stains out of our diapers...it amazes me and makes me happy every time.


Things I don't love very much at all....
-Thinking that I heard the bump of a package being put on the porch like 10 times before it actually came.
-Poor Amelia is fussy today.
-That Willow is being terrorized by the lookalike cat next door.
-That I can't heal the hurting hearts of people i love so much.
.....
and to end on a bright note....

Sammy snoozing on their new playmat.....yes, this was in the big package on the porch:)



and Amelia looking not very fussy at all:)

Bittersweet....

This is the remains of what was a freezer full of breast milk. It was leftover from the milk I pumped while the babes were in the NICU and weren't eating much. There are still two friends who have freezer fulls as well (thanks girls!). Unfortunately, all of the milk is expired and must be poured down the drain. As I was pouring container after container down the drain and rinsing them and drying them to be used for my mama's beads and other thrifty uses, it felt bittersweet. Bitter that I didn't get the milk donated in time so that someone else could use it (oh, the guilt!). Bitter that all those hours of pumping/pumping/pumping/labeling/storing was going down the drain.

Sweet that the pumping did fulfill its purpose in keeping the milk a flowin until the babies were ready, sweet that my breast milk is plentiful and the reserves weren't needed, sweet that at least my mom and her thrifty friend Barb will use the containers:), and sweet most of all that there were two healthy babies sleeping in our bed while i was pouring/rinsing/drying....





Of course I'd do it all again if need be, but here's to hoping the next time around will be a little ...more simple:) Jen

This day....

It is 9:15pm...it is past my bedtime. I am so, so tired and yet there was much to be done right up to this moment. There is much to do still. As I go to bed tonight, once again wondering "how will I do this tomorrow?!", I am still so thankful that I was here this day. This day that can never be replaced. It seems each day brings something new...amelia rolling over, sammy growing chunky and strong. Today at about 5 I was ready to lay down on the floor and curl up into a ball and go to sleep. I didn't want to go for our afternoon walk. "I don't want to go babes, I don't want to go. I know you're fussy and would love to be out, but mama just can't do it." We went because I couldn't think of anything else to do with the next hour before bath time. And as we walked out the door one of Joelie's classmates drove by and saw us. He has a new babe as well and he stopped and met Sam and Amelia. I was happy to see him...to share the joy and the struggles of having new little ones. Then as we walked on an older lady came out of her house and asked if she could meet the babies. She came and we stood in the shade of the trees and she kneeled down while telling me that she didn't have any grandchildren. She looked as if she has had rough road. Amelia smiled at her and Sammy said hello and she stood up with tears in her eyes. "Angels", she said, and immediatly I'm glad we walked. There is a purpose for everything, even an afternoon stroll. Everyday counts, I tell myself on the way home. This day, even with it's many frustrations and tired moments, counts.


So glad I'm here...

Wonder.....

"What are you doing sister?"


"I can't talk right now Sam. This is really important. I really need to study my hands. For a long, long time."





It's become a full blown obsession between the babies and their hands. Amelia literally looked at her hands for hours today...in the stroller, in the sling, in the porch swing...doesn't matter, she can't become distracted from looking at her new found love. Sam is more into sucking them and trying to stuff them in his mouth....so Amelia decided to join him.

Here's a little video action for you...

Amelia shares her hand...
Jen

Chatting with Sam...

He'll melt your heart, that little Sammy, as he looks right into your eyes and talks very intently. Then he smiles and you just want to eat his little cheeks. This is one of our bedtime chats, he is all cozy in his PJs and I can still feel his snuggly little body as I look at these pictures...He is still our little snuggler, our little sling baby, our little lover....



Amelia, on the other hand, isn't that into serious chatting yet. Occasionally she will get this really cute little smile on her face that tells me she wants to chat, but only sometimes can she figure out how to make the sounds come out in a string of quiet coos. Mostly it is just squeals of delight--I'll take that too! She is also much more apt to smile at you if you are a stranger...especially if you are a stranger with a beard like her Papa's. She spends a lot of time these days looking, studying, and thinking about her hands. She is amazed by them. She holds her little fist up in the air and just looks at it. So cute!


And last on my list to tell you today, is that this is what you do when you get sick and tired of putting one babe down while you hold the other babe...sorry about the really funny expression on my face--tee,hee...

It only worked for about an hour until my back started to ache--but it was a great hour where I was able to get things done and have both babies close to my body. Crazy me, I know:)
Jen

Hoodies...

Yeah, so they aren't that into smiling for the camera yet....only for other smiling faces:) Had to bundle them up for our morning walk today as it was in the 60's! Oh, so cute. Jen

Dear Husband,

Thank you for your kind words--you know they just fill my heart. I have to say, though, that I certainly DON'T feel like a super mom! I think I have just finally found my mountain that I like to climb. For the last 8 years I have been so in awe of you when it comes to the outdoors. There have been countless times when we were hiking and I just thought to myself, " Really?! You are still having fun right now?!" And you were. It isn't that it's easy....it is just a challenge that you enjoy, that you relish in. That is motherhood thus far for me. It is a path paved with poop, spit up, cries and ever present mama guilt.....but the rewards are around every bend. Many a night I go to sleep thinking, "I don't think I can do this again tomorrow. I am just too tired....the day will be too long. " Then, miraculously, their little faces and smiles and coos revive my spirit in the morning and on we go.

My prayer is not that I will ever be some kind of super mom...whatever that may look like...but truly that I will be able to do my best each day to love and care for these little ones and then give the rest to the Lord and pray for His grace to take over. To cast my cares upon Him....because it seems that at the end of each day I have plenty ("I don't think I held Amelia enough today, I feel like I can never meet their needs quickly enough with two of them.....and and on and on) . Oh how I pray for His wisdom and grace.

Anyway, sweet man, thanks for all you do as a Papa and as a support to me as a new mama.....what a joy it is to walk this road with you. Oh, and speaking of mountains...your babes have become quite the nature babies. They are always more content when we are outside, which we are for a majority of our days it seems. It terrifies me to think of winter!

Anyway,for you oh loyal readers, here are some pictures of our little nature babes....

At the park with their "triplet" Vera... don't ask me why I didn't button Sam's shirt, I have no idea. Sorry Sam!


Our little Big Guy...his Papa dressed him for the day:)

Enjoying the back yard.....

The Super Mom

If you want to see what an amazing super mom is like in real life, then I invite you to come to Salt Lake City, UT and visit. I will be more than happy to show you the “Super Mom”. I happen to know where one lives here...because we share the same bed…with two little babies. Yes, Jenny is about as amazing as they come. Let’s say that BEFORE the babies came Jenny was not one to want to clean and organize and plan, however, AFTER the babies came she is like a wind-up toy with a seemingly endless amount of energy, cleaning in her spare time (which there are no true “spare” moments), planning things to do with the babies and other moms, and organizing how she can streamline the babies’ days, etc. The list goes on and on. She is absolutely amazing.

If I remember correctly from my horrible days in English class there is a type of paper called “Compare and Contrast” in which the author chooses a topic and compares and contrasts the topic to something else. Well, let me compare and contrast Jenny to me as it pertains to parenting. I’ll start by saying that Sam & Amelia are the most adorable, precious, and funny babies I’ve been around. They’re irreplaceable and saying that I love them dearly is an enormous understatement. But let me tell you that I am nothing, a mere whiff of energy, compared Jenny with those babies. I cannot think about “doing” anything with them other than keeping them from crying, while Jenny on the other hand creates all kinds of little environments for them to develop and grow, which I can proudly and gladly tell you that they are, even ahead of schedule thanks to Jenny. My energy is drained thinking about trying to think about creating a stimulating environment. I’m usually trying to get them to sleep with me, quietly and peacefully; sleep is something I can do really well. Oh, I’ll take them on walks, but that doesn’t really count as anything since all you do is plop them down in a stroller and push it and go where you want.

Then, let’s say that the babies are napping and there is a window of opportunity to get something accomplished. I can assure you that what I want to get accomplished is a few zzzz’s and what Jenny thinks of is, “Oh great! I can get some laundry done, clean the kitchen, and organize our 400,000,000 pictures we’ve accumulated.” Not me.

Then there’s the nighttime. A whole other world. Maybe that’s what it should be called, “The Other World”. As I stated earlier, the babies sleep with us, which many people find, um, to not be a good idea or scary or just downright dangerous. We can tell this by the horrified expressions on their faces when we tell them where the babies sleep, and also we figure it out when they outright tell us. I’ll let Jenny tell you all about the idea of “co-sleeping”, as it’s called, and the research that’s been done on it; pretty fascinating really. Bottom line is that it’s perfectly normal and safe as long as the parents or people sleeping in the bed with the babies aren’t stoned, drunk, smoking anything, and are not mentally handicapped or impaired for whatever reason. Anyway, back to the nighttime. I love sleeping with the babies, even though I was a bit scared of the idea at first as well. They’re so fun so snuggle with, especially as they get a little bigger. However, there is not a night without one of them grunting continually, kicking me in the back or stomach, or clawing me with their fingernails that grow at a rate of 1 inch per hour. Add to it that they still need to eat during the night and they let us know that by crying, loudly. Here’s where the Super Mom comes in. She takes them, one at a time, and nurses them, then sits up, burps them (which is no small, and certainly not a clean, task with poor Amelia), and tucks them back in bed. Meanwhile, I’m not doing that. Can’t say I’m really sleeping soundly, but I am definitely not nursing, burping, or tucking in bed. Super Mom does all that. Then she gets up with them and goes about her planning, organizing, cleaning, etc. bright and early in the morning before she really wants to get out of bed but does because her little guys are ready to be on the go. I honestly don’t know how she does it. Sam & Amelia, be glad you have your Super Mom.

I’ve done a lot of hard and challenging things throughout my life, none come close to comparing to the challenge, in every way imaginable, of parenting. Many of you know our stories of some of the infamous hikes we’ve been on where lives have nearly been lost. I have been the instigator in each of those disastrous hikes or adventures because I thought they were easy and straightforward, others did not share that same thinking and they have been terrified, bloodied, sobbing, and have had thoughts of revenge including death when and if they made it through this adventure. Well, I certainly do not have ill-thoughts towards anyone, but I can now relate to the helplessness that those poor souls must have felt while being dragged through oceans, across knife-point ridges, and on treks best left unremembered, for I stare in awe at the Super Mom and wonder in amazement at how on Earth she does it, because I’m just hanging on for dear life it seems. Still though, wouldn’t trade it for the world and I always can’t wait to get back to my 3 beautiful faces at home. joel

Do I have "breastfeeder" written across my forehead?

People lose all inhibition when they see twins. Really, they do. Sometimes I can actually see people fighting the urge to say something, knowing probably that everyone says something, but in the end they usually can't help it and blurt out ," Are they twins?!" Then there are the normal questions and comments that follow like ," How old are they?", "You have your hands full!" , "You are so lucky!", "A boy and a girl huh? Is that it?" (To which I unfailingly respond , "Is that what?" having no idea what they mean, and they say "Are you done having children now that you have a boy and a girl?" It throws me off every time. My friend Holly suggested I say, "Actually, let me whip out my family plan and show you how many children we plan to have.:)" For now I just say, "No, we want LOTS,LOTS more!" )

Anyway, I actually like all of the comments for now. Maybe I just like the adult interaction that it creates. For whatever reason, it fills my heart. Other than the guy who put his finger to his head like he would shoot himself if he had twins. Yes, he did. For the most part, though, people are kind and it makes them smile to see two babes and that makes me smile. Ask me in three years and I'll tell you if I still like it!

Today, though, I got a new one. I was sitting, once again, at Paradise Bakery with Sammy in the sling and Amelia in the stroller. I was reading a book when a lady walked up and asked if they were twins. Yes, I smiled, they are. A boy and a girl. Oh, she says. Are you nursing both of them or just one? My mind started racing as I wasn't nursing either of them at the moment. I looked down at my new nursing tank terrified that I may have snapped it wrong and was exposing myself to everyone. Nope, everything was okay there. So I surmised that she must mean in general do I said, "Well, I nurse both of them." "Oh that's great!" She replied, and we continued to have a good conversation about nursing. But, first of all, how did she know that I nursed either of them at all, and how odd to think I would only nurse one of them! Anyway, like I said, people come up with some doosies.

Here are a few new pics of these little ones that make even the roughest of the rough smile.....

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood....

Fall, crisp air is suddenly upon us and we are loving it. More blankets at night, zip up jammies for the babes, cool walks where we can linger and not rush home before the harsh afternoon sun comes out, more hours on the porch swing and on back yard blankets....

Spending more time on the porch means more people watching...and, let me tell you, there are some interesting folks around here! Let's start with the ones I have met....there is a French Canadian family about 7 houses down that have the cutest 3 year old named Ava. She is as precocious as they come, confident and sassy and oh, so adorable when she speaks in French in her hurried tone. Ava came marching down the sidewalk the other day, alone, Kindermusic bag on her arm, on her way to the park! I managed to get her home by saying that we would go "surprise her mom"....boy was she surprised!

Then there is Karen around the corner who I know I will get along with so well. She is a bit older than me, a massage therapist, into all things natural (including natural parenting) , and I know she'll be a great resource...she already has been, she told me about the breastfeeding cafe!

There is cute little two year old Elinor and her mom whose name I forgot and her dad whose name I remember because it is Sam..they live two houses down and seem like a sweet family. Across from their house is a HUGE, old Victorian style house...beautiful and mysterious as it is hidden behind enormous trees on all sides. Elinor's mom said that it is a famous old Polygamous home that is now occupied by a couple of law offices. I was wondering as there is a constant stream of Hummers, Land Cruisers and other such vehicles coming and going and busy, businessy looking men and women walking to lunch, talking on cells, etc.

Then across the street from our house is a homely looking building that hosts a dentist office and a massage place. Let's just say that the massage place is a little.....fishy.

There are also lots of people test riding bikes from the bike shop half a block down....that is often humorous and gives me a chuckle. Then there are the homeless folks traveling to the park that isn't far....one rides a bycycle and wears all spandex, everyday. Saggy spandex if that is possible. There are many who look like they are walking to the bus stop, going to and from work. Now that the weather is better I am seeing more of the middle class folks, jogging, strolling their babies, riding their bikes...those that can choose when to walk instead of ride.

It's an interesting mix to say the least and I enjoy being a spectator here on this strret , sitting next two my sleeping babes, still in their zip up striped jammies....

oh wait! I forgot about our next door neighbor Shannon. That is really all I know about her as she doesn't seem too keen on getting to know us. Not that I blame her! In fact, I am sure she curses the day that we moved in with our TWO newborn babes. I can just imagine her coming home from work around 5:30 or 6 , ready to kick back and relax and then BAM! Meltdown hour begins. Oh, single Shannon...we are sorry for your loss of quiet. I saw you walk out the door yesterday looking great in your cute, black dress and sweater. Then I saw that you were carrying a tin lunchbox with a superhero girl on it.....I'm hoping that means you have a sense of humor and think it is so hysterical that there are two screaming babies living right next to your bedroom window!

Anyhow, that is the neighborhood folks......I think we fit right in:)

Is it just me....

Or do things just keep getting more and more scrumptious around here ?!

I love me some baby feet....
The air is getting a bit cool in the mornings so we "had" to break out the wool socks for those little feetsies.


Somebody got their first pair of Converse from their uncle Bub!

Don't you just want to eat those toes...

And last but not least on the cuteness scale...This is how you transport a fussy babe downstairs to the washer when there is no sling in sight. She was okay until I tried to pile the remaining laundry on top to make the trip...that was too much and she let me know it!

That's all for tonight...I am so engrossed in this book called "Shattered Dreams" by a former polygamist wife...read it...you will feel much, much better about your life! Seriously.
Jen