Solitude.

I began my trip by taking the train from the airport into Portland. Such a simple sentence, but it actually isn't so simple. I can get really anxious over these kind of things, especially without Joel there. I know that sounds silly to some, but I am going to be honest and this post and say that I have some social anxiety that often doesn't bode well when I'm in new situations. This time though, it really was fine. Great, in fact! It was good that I didn't need to be anywhere at a certain time, so I could just relax and not worry if I didn't figure everything out in a hurry or went wrong somewhere. Plus, everyone else from the airport heading to the train seemed to be in the same boat ("where do you buy the train tickets? Which button do we press? Is this the right train?"). So often the case that everyone around us is feeling the same way and yet we think we are all alone. Anyway (do you see how much self-analysis you would have to hear if I didn't have children to keep me busy?!), rode the train into town and then walked and walked around downtown. Caught the bus up a bit further towards my hotel. Felt a little anxious every time I passed a must see in Portland, " Oops, there goes Powells, oops there goes the Rose Garden, etc." I knew what I wanted though. So, I got off the bus and walked the remaining twenty something blocks to my hotel. It was glorious. Beautiful day, beautiful city.

Walked to my hotel, dropped my pack, grabbed an apple and headed off to my destination. The place I knew would calm my soul, though I had never been there and had never heard anyone talk about it as a destination spot. Just the name of it told me it was where I needed to spend my time of solitude. I walked and walked some more and then, there it was.

Ah, green and lush and just what I was craving. I sat and read and prayed and just was. Then I walked

, walked, walked back down to the little area of my hotel, found a cute little consignment shop that I couldn't resist, found a great little grocery co-op where I bought some snacks and soup and headed back to the hotel. I loved my day in Portland. It was just what i wanted to to be.

Elizabeth picked me up the next morning. What a joy to see her. I don't know that Elizabeth and I have ever had a surface conversation in our entire friendship. By the time I reached the conference I had already laughed, cried, and bared my soul!
To stand and worship with 900 other women was incredible. Our voices lifting up together was so beautiful I could have left right after singing and have been so encouraged! Funny thing is that though the conference was about simple living, it seems the lord had other things to say to me. I think He knew that my heart was already very on board the train of living simply, desiring order, etc. so He took the opportunity and encouraged me and convicted me in other areas that I wasn't even expecting. So, I was a bit disappointed during the conference until I felt my heart align with His and I had some "Aha' moments if you will about what I was really there for. Maybe I'll share more about this later. If you'd like to listen in on one of the sessions I heard, you can do it here.

Elizabeth and I headed to her house full of thoughts and things to chew on after the conference ended. We drove through beautiful Oregon countryside and then came to their new home and I was in awe! So peaceful. I told them as we were sitting out on their porch overlooking huge, rolling pastures and cows and tractors and fruit trees, that if I wasn't convinced our family was right where we are supposed to be, I may have started sobbing out of envy:) I truly am so thrilled for them and for their children to be in such an amazing place.



Then I came home and fell completely in love all over again with my little family:) I feel so thankful for my trip and my solitude and the way God fed into me while I was there. I am left hungering for more of Him in our life. More truth, more direction, more of an intentional path. I say that a trip that leaves you hungry for God is a trip well worth the taking! All for now, jen