PURVEYS OF THE FUTURE

Well it seems that maybe my last post might have been a bit negative and pessimistic, that was certainly not the point or the message I was trying to convey. I just feel that stating the blessing without the anxiety is an incomplete picture, like looking at life through rose-colored glasses. Maybe starting my thoughts on fatherhood with worries was not the best route to take, but it was honest. However, as with my above statement I think that not sharing my joys about the future would give and an equally incomplete picture. This is easy and fun, requiring less insight into my feelings, because they are right at the surface and easy to grab, and a much stronger desire to be open and free with my words.

My joys.
Probably when I think of being a father I think of two particular settings most often. One is where the babies are little and lying down, either next to me or in their “bed” or wherever, and I just get to watch them and place my hand on their bulging bellies. That’s my favorite thing about little guys, their bellies. They’re unabashedly big and protruding and taught with coils and coils of little baby intestines (maybe something only I can appreciate) stretching out their bellies. I cherish those thoughts. I cannot believe I am going to say this, but, I do that right now with our mean-eyed cat who only marginally tolerates me, so, I cannot even imagine how much more I will do that with my own kids. I mean, I think I will bother them more than they will bother me. If you sensed any negativism in my last post, please let me replace it with the truth that I am so excited about having little guys to place my hand on their bellies and listen to them breathing that baby breath that is so remindful of life and pureness and unblemished living.
My second thought is of us out of doors somewhere, camping, hiking, paddling, whatever, just being outside together in nature and letting it teach us all something. There is so much to learn from nature that is completely applicable to life and overcoming obstacles and thinking outside the box and so much more. I cannot wait to share these times with my little campers. So, I see us having so much fun and getting lost in the discovery of so much nature that we make bonds and memories for life. I so look forward to doing things with my kids outside that I will probably enjoy it with them as much or more than I do myself.

There are so many other things that I look forward to, like having them run to me when they get hurt and need someone to inspect their scrape, which I know I will be a very, very distant second to their mom (I run to her when I get scraped, too). But still, they’ll run to me when she’s not around and I like the thought of that happening. I look forward to helping them learn, there is so much to learn about and they’ll be eager beavers to learn, I just hope that my times of yearning to teach coincide with their incessant desire to learn. All kids want to learn and I think all adults would still want to learn too if we did not teach our children to stop asking questions when they reach a certain age. I cannot wait to have heart-to-heart talks about their future, about their lives, about their dreams. I cannot wait to talk with them about the Lord and hopefully see them take Him as their Savior at a young age and then get to see first hand what it truly is to have faith like a child.

There are so many things I look forward to doing and experiencing as father, many more than I listed here in these few small paragraphs. I anxiously await their arrival, though with that anxiousness is a bit of trepidation, which is all I was trying to relay earlier. It will be quite the adventure.