A little letter to my Sam.

Sweet Sammy. I love to watch you go to sleep. You still just stare off sleepily into the distance and fall asleep so peacefully. I wonder what you think about as you are drifting off. I suspect these days it's firefighters or dinosaurs or your new guinea pigs maybe. The other morning you told me you had dreamed that Tinker Bell flew past your window and you reached out the window and caught her and asked her to turn you into a giraffe but she just flew away. Just like Tinkerbell, isn't is? :)



You are loving having your own room, except that you'd like Jubilee to sleep in there with you:) You keep everything so tidy and take good care of your toys. I love that about you Sam.
A few things you've said lately that I want to remember:
Tonight you walked in to my room as I was watching Downton Abbey, and said, " Mom, when I get big and grown up and am a daddy, can I watch grown up movies like that?" I said sure and you walked out and met Amelia in the hall and said, "Mena! Guess what? Mama said when I'm a daddy I can watch grown up movies!" :)

Also, little tender spirit, the other evening I heard you and Amelia talking in her room. She was playing a harmonica and singing. Next thing I know you came into my room with your chin quivering and tears running down your face. When I asked what was wrong you said, "Amelia was playing the harmonica and it sounded so sad. Then she sang a song about friends moving away, like JJ, and it just made me cry." Yes, our sweet next door neighbors moved and it is super sad and a harmonica does often sound downhearted as well. You have always been so sensitive to the mood of music. You will often say to me, "Mom, I love this song. It sounds so peaceful doesn't it?"

Another thing I love about you is the way you must. must, must have a hug and a kiss from mama, mammy, or daddy before any of us leave the house. It can be a little traumatic if it doesn't happen,which isn't fun for any of us, but most of the time it is just plain sweet. You also proclaim loudly to your friends that you love them whenever you part. Especially your buddy Vera. "Bye Vewa! I love you!" you yell from the door. One day she ran back in and said, "Sam? I love you too. You're the best!" You still talk about her saying that:) You really do have some great friends. Today your friend Atticus came over. I hope you remember him and how much fun you two had at preschool together, when you get older. Even if you don't remember, I know preschool for you was made even so much more a secure place because you had such a kind, "big boy" friend in Atticus. I think I went into mourning a bit when it was time for him to move to Kindergarten-ha!

You also teach us a lot about compassion. The other day we were talking about "one of daddy's patients", a homeless man we passed that was holding a sign. You asked what it said and we told you he was asking for money. "Because he doesn't have a house, right? Or any money?" you asked. " I want to give him my money out of my cluck cluck." Your "cluck cluck" is a chicken piggy bank you got for Christmas that clucks when your put money in it (who would buy such a thing? Oh right, your mama would:). You have been feverishly collecting coins to put in there to save to buy more rescue vehicles. So, when you said that with such a determined little voice, your daddy's eyes and my eyes filled with tears. Daddy promised to take you shopping with your money to buy some things for his patients to give to them, and he did. You chose thick, wool socks all on your own. Yesterday morning we were on our way to an appt. for Jubilee and saw daddy on outreach with one of his patients. The socks were in the van so I texted him and asked if you could come give them and he said sure. So, we stopped and you walked right up to the man with a big smile on your face and handed him the socks. It did my heart good to see that, Sammy. You saw a need, you sacrificed, you gave.

Anyway, Sammy, just wanted to write these things down while I was thinking of them. You are growing and changing so quickly, getting so close to five years old!! Every year life with you gets sweeter, and I really mean that with all of my heart. You have grown and matured so much, learning to voice your feelings and have "self control" as you like to say these days (" I was about to say, 'Mena, your hair looks like a dugger head (?!)', but I didn't. That's called self control." I'm so proud of you and I love you to the moon and back.

Love,
Mama