Thursday, April 29, 2010

Days when I just want to kiss their faces a million times.

Days that aren't even expected to be good. Joel is gone until Sunday and 4 1/2 days alone with the littles can be challenging, and mentally I was just feeling low last night. Then we woke up to snow this morning! Oh great, no outside time. Even better. Despite my sour attitude, we had a fabulous day. A day where I just wanted to kiss their faces a million times.

When we were at story time at the library and they were so enthusiastic and funny and engaged, my heart just burst with love.

When we went to Whole Foods so I could splurge on some ready made salads for my dinner tonight (mmmm, "super foods salad with acai dressing" and "Wheatberry Quinoa waldorf salad" with a big chunk of bread to go with it). Sammy was in the main part of the cart, slouched back and leaning his head on a gallon of milk. His red, knitted elf hat perched on his head. Content as could be, eating animal crackers and singing with Melia. Oh the cuteness.

Giggling and giggling as they jumped and splashed in the puddles left by the rain/snow.

A picnic with potato heads and trains. Three year old magic at its finest.

Even now as they are outside playing in the sand box. I can hear their little voices deep in conversation --playing with their animals, of course.

So, I end this afternoon on a thankful note. Thankful for days when I see their beauty and the beauty of our life, instead of the neediness or challenges. I much prefer to engage in the beauty.

All for now, Jen

P.S. I always feel the need to give a disclaimer after writing a lovey-dovey post. I don't know, I just never want to seem like "Oh everything is all happy all the time" kinda person, you know? Because we all know that no one has an "all happy all the time "life. There are days where I feel exhausted just at the thought of a day with two little ones and then I think that that is ridiculous and beat myself up because people do it with 19 kids and seem to have energy to spare! There are days when I think I just can't handle the neediness of two 3 year olds again, and there are days when I beat myself up for not doing something different so that they aren't so needy! Then there are days where I say things like, "Sam, I think you came out of the womb fussing and just never stopped, " or "Amelia, you are really acting like a b... a rat right now. "(I'm not a rat! she indignantly replies) Okay, disclaimer over and love fest continues.

3 comments:

capturing said...

Jenny even in your disclaimer and your shortcomings, you are hilarious, gentle, and caring. I love you. I am glad you had a good day :)

Melissa A Lively said...

Your pictures always make me think of a "happy all the time life!" I love them!!!

Jocelyn said...

ohhhh, the disclaimer. thank you. it is kinda funny, cause there are some days that by the end i am DONE d-o-n-e. we've had 10 minutes of happy time and the whole day of kids screaming, mommy losing it in the midst of it all, no sweet moments, no gentle talking... and then they are in bed and asleep and i blog about the 10 minutes that was sweet, where pictures of happy faces were captured, where creativity was found and happy smiles seen. and i sometimes do worry that i'm not giving a complete picture of what life is like. but... i think it's that i want to hold on to that 10 minutes of sweet, happy time as long as possible, you know... remind myself that there ARE good times... times without screaming (from kids and mommy), times where mommy doesn't lose it and says things like "get out of the kitchen for 5 freakin' minutes or no dinner for you!" or "don't whine at me cause you fell- i told you not to stand on the table!"... you know... positive, realistic, gentle things like that!!
i mean... yes... there are really cruddy, frustrating, hard times... look at me- i'm laying in a hotel room with my ONE sleeping child- cause i was about to have a nervous breakdown if i didn't get away!! but... that's messy, that's like admitting that you don't have it all together... and who wants to blog about that?!?

soooooo... thank you for your authenticity, your realness. and hold on to those 10 minutes, or on days like this post, hold on to DAYS like that... to get your through the days of screaming, crying, yelling, meltdowns!!

i adore your kiddos and only wish you lived closer, cause i sure would love my kids to know yours! :)