The napping house....

That is what it feels like right now as I sit here alone in the living room. Joel and the babes are sleeping in the bedroom and the house feels peaceful and still. In the living room the XM radio is playing folk music and outside I can hear Willow meowing for her breakfast, the hum of the dryer is rising up from the basement, my heart feels quiet for the first time in days.

I haven't written in a few days because we are preparing for our big trip to Texas. Honestly, it has mostly been me getting my emotions in check after panicking because the babes may not get their RSV shot before we come(it isn't technically RSV season in Utah yet and the insurance companies are not likely to okay the expensive shots until the season has begun) which means even more caution and isolation while in TX. For the first time I had visions of them getting really sick and I just went into mama bear mode and was ready to call the whole trip off! Thankfully, I talked to a very level headed pediatrician on Friday who validated my feelings and yet made me see that staying home from the trip and hiding under the bed isn't the answer. Going ahead with our plan to be oh, so cautious by limiting contact with others, washing hands like crazy, not allowing them to be around children or anyone with cold symptoms and not going out in public with them is. So, onward we go.

Does this all sound a bit over the top? It's just that when your babes start out life like this....


I think it makes you realize how fragile life really is and sometimes that can turn to fear. It is just a reality of parenting former preemies, and a reality of parenting period I'm sure. So, my heart has been heavy and scared. Mom said she could hear it in my voice. The talk with the pediatrician helped, though. Singing "He's got the whole world in His hands"with the babes and really, really internalizing that Truth helped. The thought of being with our families and knowing that it will be a balm to our souls , and theirs,helped.

And so here I sit this morning, feeling stronger and excited as I start to pack and prepare for the big trip. We will be gone for about six weeks(!) and I obviously won't be posting as often, though I do plan to post when I can. (If some stranger from SLC is reading this somehow has figured out where we live and plan to pull a fast one while we are gone...beware! We are going to have a very,very BIG polynesian staying here and you do not want to mess with him! I'm not kidding. )

Anyway, just wanted to let you know what's been going on. Oh, and you know how when you hurt your thumb and it makes you take your mind off of your headache(isn't there a saying like that?!)? That has been RSV for me. I haven't even stressed about that I am going to be flying BY MYSELF with two babies in a few days! Probably better that way:)

Leaving you today feeling thankful once again that we have a healthy baby girl that looks like this now when she sleeps and our lovey, snuggly Sam...



All for now, Jen