My friend Anne and I have had a few conversations about what our ideal self would look/be like. You know, like our best version of what our life could be. You have had those conversations, right?:) Well, I have had this picture in my head for the longest time of mine. I am a few inches taller and leaner (haha!), have long braided hair and am hanging clothes on the line. I have a baby in a sling and there are cats and children underfoot. The picture makes me think "contentment", which I guess is one of my greatest desires. Not "easy" or "stagnant", but content and joyful within the life God has given me. That's what the picture means to me (well, besides the vanity of wanting to be long and lean:). I guess that's what I think would "make" me be content, a life of home and children. Of course, that isn't totally true, and I do want to find my contentment in the Lord, whatever the circumstance.
However, the other day I found myself with a baby in a sling, hanging up diapers on the line, with two other little ones playing in the sandbox while their sweet and handsome daddy worked in the garden. I asked Joel to take a picture because, really, it was a little dream come true. A life of home and children! What gifts! I may not be tall or lean, the actual birth of the babe in the sling had left my heart a little broken, the kids in the sandbox were each adjusting to new life in the home, and I couldn't even find clothes pins to use on the line...but such good these moments do my heart! They make me sing praise to the Lord, for His goodness and faithfulness.
So far from perfect, but beautiful to me nonetheless.
With a thankful heart, Jen
3 comments:
So true that discontentment is not a product of circumstances; it is the state of the soul. The apostle Paul is certainly an example of that.
It is such a great attitude to be thankful to the Lord. It should be easy for us Americans to identify many things to be thankful for among our abundant blessings and freedoms.
Fulfilling His role for us as women as helpmeets to our husbands, keepers of our homes, and lovers and molders of our children for the Lord is an excellent work to find contentment in.
God is good and our plans are not always His plans, but He is trustworthy.
love ya,
anna
Hi Jenny, this is Jaime White (Abbe's sis-in-law),
I read your post when I read Abbe's (which isn't often since it hasn't been updated since...April!). So really I'm just finding out about Jubilee! Congratulations! Kitty told me what a miracle she is.
I just read your comment about her birth leaving your heart a bit broken and it brought tears to my eyes. I never wanted quite as natural a birth as you were probably wanting (I would have probably taken the drugs), but I truly wanted as natural as possible. Had a hurried c-section with the 1st and was left a bit broken hearted. The dreams of childbirth were shattered with a very technical and cold procedure. I was so thankful for a healthy baby, but still mourned that experience.
With the 2nd I tried a v-bac. it didn't work. I was disappointed, but not as badly as the 1st time. and of course with #3, v-bac wasn't even considered.
Anyway, I'm so thankful for your pretty baby girl! I love your blogs and seeing how much you enjoy life:)
Jaime, thank you so much for your comment! It really meant a lot and sounded so similar to my
own emotions. It's hard to explain to people sometimes, isn't it? You don't want to sound ungrateful for a healthy baby, but you can't deny the sadness you feel. Anyway, it helped so much to hear you felt the same. I'm sorry you had to go through it, though, and I hope healing has come to your heart over time. Lots of love and thank you for taking time to write ! Jen
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