Our story

I wasn't yet asleep tonight when I heard Amelia crying. This isn't the norm these days and so I waited to see if she would drift back to sleep on her own. It was about 10:30 pm. In the moments that I was waiting I wondered if she would want to breast feed. The babes have nursed only once in the past three days. I wondered how I would get her back to sleep without nursing her. I dreaded trying but am really trying to let them wean if they're ready. Realizing that she wasn't stopping, I quietly slipped in to their room and pulled her into my arms. She quickly hugged her body to me and buried her head into my neck. Tears sprang to my eyes as I walked to the rocking chair and sat down. No trying to pull down my nursing tank, no signing "milk". So I just held her there, rocking and kissing her head. I prayed for her a bit. Specifically, prayed for wisdom in teaching her how to share.
My mind kept coming back to how big she felt in my arms. Like a child. I held her a little bit tighter and then walked her back to her bed. She didn't make a peep as I put her down. "We are all growing together, " I thought as I left the room.

I hate to end this sentimental post by quoting Brad Pitt, but I'm going to anyway. About his ever expanding family he said, "We are raising each other." It's really true. As the babes grow and become more independent, I realize I am growing as well. Moving on in this motherhood journey, learning how to let go of things I held so dear (co-sleeping/breast feeding etc) and embrace the new. Change has always been hard for me. This little time with Amelia tonight comforted me as I was reminded the many, many ways there are to connect. A sleepy snuggle can in fact melt my heart as much as a breast feeding session.

Here's to late night lessons,
Jen