Our story

Standing at the kitchen sink, hands hot as I scrub pots and pans and such. The sunshine shining in the window above the sink and I take a moment to thank the Lord for the warmth. For the sun. For the many,many little blessings that He gives throughout the days. My mind floods with thoughts as I turn to Him, thoughts of joys and of little sorrows. So intermingled as they always seem to be. I think of Joelie and how a few months ago he said to me that these past 8 months or so have been "the brightest days of our marriage." I thank the Lord for His grace in our marriage. That though Joel and I hurt each others feelings and say things we regret often, we have grown and are growing and love each other with true and rich love. I think of the dust on the living room side tables and how "dailyness" so often creeps up on me and I just can't seem to keep up with it. I ask for true wisdom as I grow in my role as keeper of this home. I thank Him for ways I have seen Him already give me so many resources from people and books and His word, on how to create this sacred space that I so desire. I think of our adoption. My hearts sighs and grows heavy. I know that the same feelings that I felt with infertility are creeping back in. Questioning why part of my journey seems to be strongly desiring children and yet having to seemingly wait and wait and wait for them. I want to trust. I want to have open hands and surrender the process to Him...He can see the big picture. I realize that the water is too hot. I turn it off and go to check on the sleeping babes. I pass the "Millet bars" on the counter and smile at these interesting and not very tasty snacks I made for them this morning. I smile because I remember the satisfaction of finally remembering to get "millet" at the store in my quest to try new grains. The first attempt failed and yet every day is new. Every day is new. Now that is indeed a joy.