"How can you see something that's always so close?*"

Today the babes and I went to a great little store called Oneity. When we got there I saw that they had a new play area with toys and soft bean bag chairs for kids and I thought, "Wow, they could actually play in there. I can't believe they are big enough to do something like that!" Immediately when I saw the toys my first thought was germs, but then someting came over me and I walked over and took Amelia out of the sling and Sammy out of the stroller and sat them down amidst the toys.

Something in me just craved seeing them play like healthy, normal babes in an outside situation. And play they did. Immediately Sam picked up a piece of leather with bells on it and started shaking it and smiling his big ol' smile. Amelia crawled over to one of those wooden boxes with big, round beads that you can push around. She pulled up on it and started to push them. How did she know how to do that? I started to walk around the store to try and casually browse, but I couldn't help peeking at them through the clothes about every, oh, two minutes. They looked so big, so independent, so....normal. Then a mom walked in with her big germ, I mean two year old, and sat her down to play. I was frozen and the thought of RSV moved to the back of my mind. I had to see this. And so I watched as both babies craned their little necks to watch this big girl play. They stared in awe. Then Amelia crawled right over and pulled up on the drum the little one was playing with. The girl smiled, I felt tears come into my eyes, and the girl said, "Is that your bwudah?" over and over again as she pointed to Sammy. I looked over at the other mom and wanted to say, "Oh this is a big moment. A BIG moment!" But, of course, to her it was just a cute little interaction between babes.

This was a first to me to see Sam and Amelia play with an unfamiliar girl in an unfamiliar place. It was to me a reminder that they were about to start entering the great big world. It was a moment to see them like another random person would....as two,cute babies playing in a store. All at once I felt such a stab of love, of thankfulness, and a bit of sadness as I see the days of our "baby bubble world" changing. Maybe this all sounds so strange to you.

I was reading a novel the other day called juno and juliet. While I'm not in love with it by any means , I read these lines and they stuck with me and may help you understand a bit what I mean."

"I began to know Juno much better in those conversations. It sounds stupid, when she was my twin, when we'd live in the same house and often the same room for all of our lives. But how can you see something that's always so close? My picture of her grew clearer against an unfamiliar background. I had loved her absentmindedly. I began to love her more. "

All for now, Jenny