Early morning musings.

I'm here in the guest bed with sweet Amelia. She has been sick for about a week and we are running our normal cycle. She gets sick, then when she's almost better Sam gets it and then she often gets it back from him. Fun! So we have been up since four- more medicine administered, then a coughing fit ending in throw up, and now quiet and fewer coughs and maybe some sleep? Though now that I'm up, my tummy is feeling on edge and hungry, a seemingly constant combo these days.
Anyway, being up with them frequently during the past week's nights has made me remember back to their infancy and to the new infant that Lord willing will join us in September. I thought to myself tonight, " it's the beauty and the challenge." Now, I hazily remember the deliriousness that came from lack of sleep, the frustration of trying to get Amelia to sleep ( it's been her lifelong challenge), etc. But I also remember the beauty that comes with that sacrificial love. It gets us outside of ourself- it stretched me and grew me and increased my dependence on the Lord.
I thought of that tonight as I lay next to Amelia after she threw up. I was telling her that she was always so brave when she is sick and how proud I am of her that she doesn't complain ( a virtue I admit i do not possess) when she doesn't feel well. I told her what a strong girl she is and in that moment I thought , " There IS beauty in being up at 4 with your little one. Having the chance to affirm her strength and to stretch my own." I think of Sam in our room laying next to Joel, feeling safe and loved next to his daddy. I think of Joel, who has been sleeping at least part of the night next to that little boy for almost four years now, that snuggly, wiggly, crotch kicking little sleeper and once again I think- " yep, it's the beauty and the challenge." Now then, all is well. It is five and Amelia is back to sleep. I'm going to go get a piece of toast and try to get some more sleep myself.
Love to you this early morning and feel free to remind me of this post in the future:) Jen